You’re Not Thrown Off by People. You’re Thrown Off by What You Don’t Accept.

In business and in life, there are moments when something someone says or does throws you off.

It happens to everyone.
Even to the most senior leaders I work with.

What happens next matters.

Some choose distance.
They step away from the person, the situation, the conversation.

Others stay, but carry it with them.
Replaying it.
Trying to understand the why, the meaning, the intention.

Both come at a cost.

Avoidance can mean losing an important connection.
Overthinking creates cognitive load that pulls you away from what actually matters.

And even if you think, this doesn’t affect me, it usually just means you haven’t yet met the trigger that will.

Over time, I’ve come to see that what throws us off is rarely the situation itself.
It’s our resistance to it.

We don’t accept what we see.
And so we stay entangled in it.

Acceptance, in this sense, is often misunderstood.

It’s not approval.
It’s not agreement.
It’s not saying that something is right.

It’s a strategy.

A way to take what is happening as information, rather than as something we need to fight, fix, or carry.

To create a bit of distance.
To apply perspective.
To move from reaction to choice.

One question I often offer is simple:

What does this say about the person, and how will you integrate that going forward?

That’s often enough.

You don’t need to carry it.
You don’t need to solve it.
You just need to place it.

And move forward with clarity.

I was reminded of this recently in a very different context.
My son was playing with our puppy and got bitten quite badly. It was one of those moments that could easily stay with you, shape your reaction, create fear.

And yet, after the initial shock, he simply adjusted.
He didn’t deny what happened.
He didn’t overanalyze it.
He didn’t carry it longer than needed.

He accepted it as information, changed how he approached the puppy, and moved on.

There was something very clean about that.

No drama.
No story.
Just clarity.

Maybe that’s the real work.

Not to avoid difficult moments.
Not to overprocess them.

But to accept them for what they are, place them where they belong, and keep moving.

With a bit more awareness than before.